Yes, such a very long time since I posted. Over two years ago. I doubt I have anyone reading this blog anymore, but I'm going to pick it up again, nonetheless.
I think I would like to post some photos of my kids from this last year that make me smile for different reasons. My kids are average kids with average failings. I will not represent them as possessing any more gifts or goodness or potential than what I believe all children have. Their worth comes from them being the only one of their kind, anywhere. And as such, they have a unique purpose here and a place that can be filled by no other. This is just a peek at the place they fill in our family.
This is my wiggly fifth child. His wiggly-ness doesn't cause behavioral issues, but I felt it would still be nice for him to learn to direct his excess energy towards productive ends. So we've been putting him in different sports. Not with the intent to turn him into a sports superstar, but just to enjoy physicality with a purpose. This is a picture of his soccer game. His soccer team lost every game this season. The first one I went to was like a beginning scene out of the Mighty Ducks. The other team was there more than half an hour before the game doing precision drills. Our team was lacking a coach until 5 minutes into game time, and the players were filling the time by jumping on the bleachers and accidentally kicking balls over the fence into neighboring yards (our coach was good, he just experienced confusion about the game start time on this particular day). The other team's coaches (they had two!) looked like they should be coaching high school football, and one could be heard yelling throughout the entire game. Some of it was instruction, some was encouragement, but some made me cringe. They obliterated our team, and I wondered how Mitchell would handle it, but following their after-game talk from the coach, Mitchell came bouncing over like nothing disappointing had happened. In the car he even said, "I must be the luckiest boy in the world!" Insteresting declaration. I asked, "Why? Because you get to play soccer?" And he said, "Yes, and because our coach doesn't yell at us. He understands that we're still learning." That's Mitchell. He's very good at seeing the positives and just enjoying life.
I won't deny that bringing these babies into the world tested me in ways that I didn't foresee. I didn't and couldn't understand the sacrifice involved beforehand. But though I have moments of heavy doubt about my capability, or times I worry about their choices and future, or periods where I sincerely mourn the loss of my personal time and ambitions, it remains obvious to me that each of these children were meant to be here in our family. There are no regrets.