I don't need any necessities!

Wow! I thought I'd only skipped a week, but I just looked at my calendar and realized it's been two whole weeks. I'm so sorry. Allow me to offer this recent goofy picture of my children as penance. I would try to excuse myself by explaining that I'm in the middle of another remodeling project, but even I am getting tired of those excuses. So let's just move on . . .

Since we are constantly fixing up our home (sorry, I'm talking about remodeling again), it seems that we are always spending money, and it can get a bit discouraging. Even though we try hard to keep costs down by doing the work ourselves (despite not knowing what we're doing) or by exercising patience and restraint, the internal struggle is draining. I grew up with parents who were the Grand Poobahs of responsible spending. I would say that they should write a book, but their entire strategy is contained in only one sentence: Don't spend money if you don't have it. I don't think anyone would buy that book.

Now, they would probably be the first to say that they are not perfect at this strategy, but they kept working at it, and now, even though they've had 12 kids, are a single-income family, and are just in their 50's they are debt-free. I don't mean to brag, but you just can't say that about a lot of people. Having their example constantly before me, you can understand why whenever I pick up any item in the store, specifically Target, I always have to ask myself "do I really need this?" I don't always choose wisely.

So I was recently feeling a little down about my splurges, when I happened upon an online article about 12 "necessities" that you really don't need. I would give you the link to the article and the author's name, but, regrettably, I forgot to save both. The author explains that we often convince ourselves that our wants are really needs because of our pervasive American attitude of entitlement. We reason that because we do some hard things in life, that somehow means that we really deserve these luxuries. I don't know about you, but I do this all the time.

"When financial ignorance and availability of credit meet ugly attitudes of entitlement, that is a recipe for a horrible disaster."--Mary Hunt, author of "Debt-Proof Living" and a recovering overspender.

So, I decided to read the author's list of unnecessary "necessities" (say that 3 times fast) and compare it with my life, and in doing so I actually came away pretty pleased with myself. So I thought that I would like to offer this gift of self-satisfaction to all. Now I am aware that reading this might not actually cheer some people up, but instead depress them further. If you think this might apply to you then proceed with caution. But I am guessing that most of my acquaintances can point to at least one item where they are doing really well.

12 "Necessities" aka. entitlements

1--Daily Latte
There are many benefits to being a devout member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but one of them is that as a healthy 30-something, I don't need coffee (or anything else for that matter) to get me moving in the morning.

2--Cable TV
Okay, so this one will probably get a lot of people, but as one who has never subscribed to any TV service, I will assure you that there is life without cable or satellite TV. There's quite a lot of life actually. If you're not scrambling to make ends meet, fine. But if, or when, you are, I hope you have the courage to cut the cord.

3--Manicure/Pedicure
I really don't know how many people do this on a regular basis, but it's expensive. Especially since, for me, it would be destroyed within two days. I can cut, file and lotion my own nails, thank you (and I do).

4--Botox
Uh, . . . . . this one . . . . . . . . hmmm . . . . . . . . .what?!!
(That's me attempting to be speechless.)

5--Bottled Water
I have the pack of bottled water in my 72 hour kit which we were advised to have on hand, but since I have a love of fruit juice and other things sweet, if I feel the urge to splurge on something in a bottle, you'd better believe it's not going to be water.

6--(get ready for this one) Second Car
We DO have a second car, a minivan, so I will not point fingers. Since my husband works 45 minutes away and public transportation is not available for him, I don't feel too badly about this. We also waited to purchase our van until baby #4 was actually on the way, and it was, therefore, a necessity. But I have to remind myself that just because it's sitting in my garage, that doesn't mean I should use it every day. Also, I think the author was speaking more to those who lease or buy a new vehicle every three years or so and constantly have a car payment (which I don't). But I will draw from personal experience with my family of 14 and say that, with a healthy attitude of cooperation, many people can survive with only one vehicle. Mary Hunt (see quote above) gave up her car, and has not yet found the need to purchase another.

7--Cell Phone
We have 2 prepaid phones, and for us, they are more than adequate. My kids will probably not have their own phone though we may have one or two to lend out as needed. The thought of them constantly communicating with their friends in text-speak turns my stomach. For our needs, contract plans aren't even a consideration.

8--Lawn Service
As the daughter of a farmer, I refuse to let someone else work our land. Besides, I really want my kids to benefit from the experience of working hard with dirt. The effort will keep them healthy, build their character, and reinforce their Mommy's belief in the futility of manicures.

9--Clothes
Most people seem to not know what it means to truly wear out clothes. I do. You can check my school pictures. I grew up with the mantra "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." Having said that, I could still do better with this one, and since our kids' school has a dress code forbidding pants with holes in the knees, they will not be able to become intimately acquainted with that joy. They keep trying, though.

10--Private School
Again, I am surprised that this is considered a necessity. Public school is doing just fine for our kids.

11--Childhood Parties
My childhood birthdays consisted of family celebrations only. I invited a couple of friends over one year, but no party was involved, just cake. The thought of trying to keep up with all those who have a themed party and a bounce house every year just makes me tired all over. And a little grouchy.

12--(grand finale) Pet Grooming/Walking
We don't have cats or dogs. This is not a problem.

So how did you do? Are you even still reading this? As you can see, I also have things to work on, but I don't think any bad spending habits are set in stone. And looking at this list has given me new resolve to mend my overspending ways. Besides, with all I do, all the ways that I sacrifice, I really do think I deserve to be completely debt-free. This is America, after all.